I Can't Breathe Without You
by LadyVibeke87
Summary: There it was, the moment every woman dreamed for a lifetime. The moment when love felt so true that it nearly hurt. The moment when you realised that you had all you ever needed, and that it would be forever. The perfect moment. [GSR, post Law Of Gravity]


Sara's eyes fluttered open, slowly focusing the room around her. The bed felt warm, unlike the past two weeks, and she found herself smiling for no apparent reason. Then memories of the past few hours abruptly came back to her kind, and she saw the clothes scattered all over the floor, and the flowers on her night table, and in the end she became conscious of the arm surrounding her naked waist. A smile tugged on her lips as she rolled to the other side, finding herself facing a soundly sleeping Gil Grissom.

She had always liked to make love when the rain was pouring outside. That night in particular, the storm had been violent and loud, and had rocked them all along.

From the window they'd left ajar, Sara could smell the scent of the wet streets and alight chill breeze insinuating into the room, blowing its cold breath on Sara's bare shoulders and back, where her sensitive skin was stippled by goose bumps.

She carefully removed his arm to not wake him up, and slipped out of the bed. The alarm clock on Gil's table flashed three in the morning.

Sara blindly sought for something to put on. To her luck, she immediately touched the unmistakable white lace of her nightie, which she put on right before going to pick a pair of panties from the open drawer on the opposite side of the room. She glanced back at the bed and admired her realised dream for a moment. Even now that she had him back, after that sabbatical that had felt like lasting for ages, she found it hard to believe he was there for her and her only.

She went to sit by his side, her hand moving through his curls, then down to his freshly shaven face, and she nearly regretted they'd got rid of it so soon. After all, she had quite enjoyed it, last night.

Grissom stirred in his sleep, letting out a faint groan as Sara's fingers stroked his cheek. She didn't want him to awake, but there was some superior power that just wouldn't let her stop. It was something she enjoyed too much, something she would never get tired of, because it was everything she had always dreamed.

She was so engaged in her ministrations that she barely noticed his eyes had slowly opened and were now gazing at her through the darkness. He set his hand above hers and gave her a sleepy smile.

"_What angel wakes me from my flowery bed?_"

Sara grinned amusedly.

"I'm sorry." She mumbled. "I didn't mean to wake you up."

"I would have awoken anyways," he said dismissively. "This bed feels cold without you." He pulled himself up a bit, looking around with a mildly astonished expression. "Did we do this?"

With a small laugh Sara let him drag her down to his chest, where she rested her head blissfully while he raised the blankets to let her slid under them.

"We were a little more concerned about _what_, rather than _how_." She quipped. "Which I didn't really mind."

He lifted a brow, glancing down to her. Sara defiantly mirrored his expression, her hand running across his chest.

"I've missed you so much." She whispered, closing her eyes to savour the pleasure to feel him so close again, to have his arm surrounding her, his hand caressing her shoulder. The regular rhythm of his breath and heartbeat lulled her gently, driving her toward a sleep she didn't want. She just wanted to just lie here forever and enjoy the moment, because this was what for years she had been waiting for.

Grissom brushed his lips against her temple, then, as she turned, against her own.

"You know, I thought a lot while I was away," he said, suddenly bringing up a serious tone. "This sabbatical has been very important for me. I got the chance to come to a few realizations."

"About what?" asked Sara, her eyes still idly closed

"About us." He said. "About how I cherish what we have."

Finally Sara decided the conversation was getting significant enough for her to draw her attention back to him. She simply eyed him in anticipation, cuddling herself more comfortably, her leg rubbing on his.

"I'd always thought that all those movies and songs that say _I can't breathe without you_ were… Kind of hyperbolic." He said, looking down at his hand tangled with hers. "But as soon as the plane took off I became aware that I was being physically separated from the one thing that makes this city my home." He made a pause to lick his lips, as though he was looking for the right words. "And it was then that I realized… I wasn't breathing."

He glanced at her intensely, and Sara cupped his face, leaving his hand free.

"I remembered all of a sudden why I've been running away from you for all these years." His hand went up to cover hers as he continued. "You scare me – what I feel for you scares me... Because it goes beyond what science can explain."

"There are things that don't need explanations." She said softly. "Sometimes all we need to do is to stop looking for a reason and let everything happen just… Because."

He addressed her a smirk before this lips met again.

"I'm glad you stopped running, eventually." She remarked.

"And I'm glad that despite all my mistakes, you never stopped waiting for me." He replied.

They stared into each other's eyes for long seconds, fully immersed in the pure sensation of joy their mutual presence gave them. It was like a drug – a very addictive, heavenly drug.

Now they had found one another, they would never be able to let go what they had, and nothing in the world could have made Sara happier.

"_Love, that exempts no one beloved from loving, seized me with pleasure of this man so strongly that, as thou seest, it doth not yet desert me_." She recited, getting from him an approving look.

"_Gallehault was the book and he who wrote it_." He added, unable to stifle a flattered grin. "Dante's Inferno. Pretty smart quote, indeed."

"You quoted Shakespeare." She said smugly. "It took a massive quote to beat you."

"The pupil beats the master again." Grissom responded, his face millimetres away from hers, his hand still holding hers on his cheek. "Which reminds me that tomorrow there's Greg first conference and we have to get up early."

"Our baby is growing up." She giggled, but then she realised what she had said, and her heart was hit by a light pang. Babies were a subject that secretly bothered Sara, especially because of the contrasting feelings she had toward them.

She and Gil had been together for almost two years, and never they had talked about that, not even once, not even accidentally. And yet, it wasn't like there hadn't been occasions for her to bring it out. She had found herself facing a couple of late periods, in the last few months, but her unconscious hopes had been vain every time, and had always died before she could even start thinking of how to tell him.

"Sara," he said sweetly, trying to catch her look. "Is everything okay?"

She blinked in bewilderment, her thoughts fading as her mind quickly returned to reality.

"Uh?"

"You fell silent when I mentioned Greg's conference."

Sara pursed her lips, trying to understand if it was the right moment to start such a delicate discussion. In the end she decided to leave it to his intuitiveness.

She raised her eyes in his and took a deep breath.

"Actually, it was something else." She sighed, hoping he would read in her expression everything she didn't have the guts to tell him face to face.

It took him a while to process her confession, but at last his jaw dropped in awareness.

"You'd like to have a baby?" he inquired.

"No!" Sara answered promptly. "Well, maybe… I don't know."

"But you must know…"

Sara didn't know how to interpret that cryptic tone. It was clear it was hard for him to talk about it, and she was very thankful to him that he hadn't pretended not to understand.

"I'm thirty six, Gil," she said inexpressively, lying more rigidly in his arms. "My body's not going to wait forever, and I… I'm staring to feel I need something more."

"Something more than this?" he gestured at the two of them. "More than just _us_?"

To Sara's ears, that sounded horribly defensive. She knew she should be glad she had him, that she was luckly to just be there with him, but her instinct wasn't of the same opinion.

Once again, though, her rational side overcame the sensitive one, and she did what she would always do when she felt she was about to scare him off.

"You know what? Let's forget about this." She said, forcing a nonchalant voice. "It's not important."

She knew that smile she had put on was so miserably fake, even in the darkness, and even better she knew it was too late to bit her tongue. She grabbed the blankets and shifted to her side of the bed, covering herself till her chin.

She was already fighting to keep herself together, when she felt his breath on her skin.

"I've grown up, Sara." He told her. "I don't run anymore from the things I love."

"I don't want you to do this just because I want it." she mumbled back flatly, but he made her turn to him and look him in the eye.

"If there is something I've learned from this job, it's that life is short and unpredictable," he said. "And we have not time enough to waste it in ifs." He wiped a tear from her eyelid and smiled reassuringly. "If you are ready for this, then I am too. I think I love you enough to stand the idea of a little baby Sara around the world."

A touched smiled appeared on her lips as well.

"Are you sure?"

Grissom nodded with determination.

"_As sure as the rivers reach the sea_." He confirmed.

A nervous, yet content laugh escaped from Sara's mouth.

"Cite your source."

"Nightwish." He said, receiving a puzzled look from her. "A Finnish power metal band Greg was listening to yesterday. Not bad, actually."

She buried herself into his hug again, the safest place in the world, and everything seemed easier.

"Thank you." She whispered timidly onto his chest.

There it was, the moment every woman dreamed for a lifetime. The moment when love felt so true that it nearly hurt. The moment when you realised that you had all you ever needed, and that it would be forever. The moment that made everything else disappear. The perfect moment.

Gil kissed her forehead and smiled more broadly, shaking his head.

"No, honey." He said fondly, holding her like she was all that kept him alive. "Thank _you_."


End file.
